Wrong

I feel writing about being highly sensitive is infinitely more difficult than writing about any other subject. With most topics, the words just flow, but this is so much harder. It simply doesn't feel as natural to think, process and type out the highly sensitive part of myself. I find this incredibly ironic, because let's face it, as HSPs, we're highly sensitive all day, every day. I feel like I, and many other HSPs, are just getting comfortable with who we are, so delving into the technicalities can get pretty awkward. I wish I was more comfortable with myself and eagerly await the day I can fully feel like myself and be okay with that. The more I read and learn about HSPs, the more I feel okay with myself every day. I think about the year's of self hatred I put myself through and it makes me angry. I feel angry at myself and angry at everyone else, even if it's irrational. It's probably no one's "fault" that I became so self loathing, just an unfortunate set of circumstances. Trying to fit into the non-sensitive box can really do a number on you. Until recently, I sincerely didn't believe there was another way to exist. In of her podcast I believe, Ane Axford(fellow hsp, if you haven't checked her yet, google her asap!) stated that we learn to view ourselves as wrong. Those words have been following me around for months now. Because of my experiences, I gradually started to see myself as all wrong. The way I looked, my interests, my thoughts, my dislikes... they were all a problem to be fixed. The harder I tried to fix them, the deeper I dug my hole of self-loathing. I'm happy to say that I'm slowly learning to stop living this way. I can feel the change within myself and want those around me to experience it too.